1. One big improvement was to show that the dead girl (Beth) was in the shot with the policemen. In this version, there is no indication that she is there, aside from a POV shot from the girl and the policemen talking about her. To improve on this, we included a low angle shot with the girl's shoulder and arm in frame, showing that she is there visually.
2. Another improvement to be made was the framing of the shots. The main conversation part between the two policemen had a lot of blank space featuring sky, and when the other policeman is on the phone towards the end, there is a lot of blank space around him. To improve, we needed to reshoot this scene and feature closer camera shots, as to include the two characters, and lessen the blank space and sky that featured in this first version.
3. Another improvement was to have more of a variety of camera shots in the 2nd section. In the first version in the conversation section, it only features 3 shots, with one of them being a POV shot of the dead girl. Meaning the conversation just cut from shot A to shot B and back again. To improve on this, we reshot the scene and included many more camera shots in different places as to have variety and make the title sequence a more interesting watch.
4. A small improvement which we made was to include the witness (James) more into the story. We did this by including as shot and dialogue of the policeman (Dan) walking over to him and asking to interview him. In this first version, James was only featured in one shot, and then the policeman was told to interview him. The new shot gives the character more importance to the story.
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